finally , I'm free to update ! .
this few days , I'm not really that happy .
in fact , I'm going through depression . D:
this few days I just cant stop crying and crying whole night .
I dont feel like talking to anyone , or eating .
I'm having tons of mental illness right now .
I on my music player as loud as I can , I lock my room door .
& lie on my bed and do nothing , just think about things happening around me .
self-harm became my addiction again , D:
when we are in pain , and the mind is forced to comprehend the unthinkable ,
we seek the most powerful thing we can find to obliterate the mental and emotional pain .
I pretty sick of being left alone , and got no one to talk to .
perhaps you all think my life is just so perfect , and I'm so happy with it .
for your information , I'm not . maybe you all think I'm useless and just giving out excuses .
but try to be in my shoe , and see how you really think about my life .
I hate my life now , I really do , ): .
my best friend and close friends are neglecting me .
my brothers and cousins dont give a damn about me .
I got no one who can really understands me to talk to , no one , no one in this earth .
I'm dying deeply inside , I'm numbed , I cant feel the pain anymore .
dearest sis , I miss you a lot , oh god , please turn back time .
return my sis to me , I really do need her .
my life is getting real hard to carry on , I'm in so much pressure .
more than you can ever think of , I abuse myself everyday .
I dont eat , and someday I'll have anorexia , I hate myself .
yea , I'm dumb , stupid , brainless , ungrateful , and all the things you can think about me .
I hope for a better life , I want friends who stays beside me all time .
and most of all , I need you !
falling down ?
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